owlsinyourbelfry:

AU where Clark teaches Bruce about Keyboard smashing and everyone, especially the batkids, fucking hate it

Dick, in the Batfamily groupchat : So, Jason might have just accidentally ran someone over

Jason : I didn’t run anyone over, stop being dramatic

Dick : Your motorcycle LITERALLY ran across the guy’s leg

Jason : It’s not running someone over if you don’t go over their entire body

Bruce : sjdknfjdksjskdjs Jason what have I told you about using vehicles to permanently injure criminals

Dick :

Jason :

Dick :

Jason : Never talk to me, or my motorcycle, ever again

——

Tim : WHO DID IT

Dick : Did what

Tim : BRUCE

Tim : WHO TAUGHT BRUCE ABOUT KEYBOARD SMASHING

Dick : It’s a myst-

Clark : Me.

Clark : I did.

Clark : I did Bruce.

Clark : I also told him about keyboard smashing.

Dick and Tim : CLARK-

——

Bruce : skdkskmdkrjdkdjdkdjs

Duke, crying : how do i stop him

Duke : help me, please, he’s learned how to do it in real life

——

Harvey : Bruce I need to borrow like two dollars for smthn

Bruce : Will twenty two suffice

Harvey : No just two is fine Bruce

Bruce : skdksksjsjs just take the fucking money Harv

Harvey, grabbing his pistols and stealing a car : I knew that fucking boyfriend of yours was a bad fucking influence- SIRI CALL SELINA