nerdlordholocron:

fun dnd trick for your bard

(or sorcerer, or wizard, but bard is the archetypal Annoyance)

that will make me shriek with rage if you pull it on me while I’m DMing (for the same reason that one of my friends is not allowed to play a bard in any of my games), but here I am inviting you to inflict it on anyone else:

1. learn Animate Objects when you reach ninth level. read the whole thing real good.

2. buy ten steak knives, which are Tiny objects

3. take the War Caster feat to keep your Concentration up as much as possible

4. blenderize your foes as a bonus action on every turn, because that’s 10 attacks at +8 to hit and d4+4 damage. t e n o f t h e m

5. figure out how to placate your partymates and your DM now that your turns always take forever and you’re outputting that much damage. no I’m not helping you figure out how to do that part

6. ???

7. PROFIT