adhd is a terrible name for this disorder because it’s not that we lack the capacity to pay attention to things (a deficit of attention): it’s that we lack the capacity to control what we pay attention to (failure of prioritization).
The ADD/ADHD person’s focus center is just … hideously bad at self-regulating.
(& the reasons are poorly understood, though we’ve identified some pretty effective treatments.)
where most people’s brains are able to prioritize tasks based on weighing time sensitivity, ‘importance’, how long it will take to complete, cost-benefit analysis, etc, ADHD brains prioritize tasks based on two things:
is it interesting? (‘new’ also counts as ‘interesting’.)
is it due now? aka: is it urgent? (if not, it is due ‘later’ and is ‘not urgent’.)
if nothing is interesting and/or due now, we cannot prioritize. everything is equally unimportant (boring). otoh if something is interesting and/or urgent, our brain can seize on that thing and focus extremely well, going into hyperfocus and totally shutting out everything else.
by the way: the only understanding we have of time is ‘now’ and ‘not now’. like
Calendar: *shows the final is tomorrow* ADHD Brain: fuck the calendar! everything after today is *~THE FUTURE~*! ADHD Brain: and *~THE FUTURE~* is far away. like millions of years away. ADHD Brain: so that’s why we’re going to read about a totally random subject for 10 hours instead of studying.
but then the next morning is like
ADHD Brain: HOLY SHIT THE FINAL IS TODAY ADHD Brain: CRAMMING TIME
and has no problem focusing on the important subject material that it couldn’t focus on the night before.
that’s how you know it’s not a lack of care, by the way. if you didn’t care about it, urgency wouldn’t change how much you can focus on it. it’s just that your brain can’t tell how urgent it is until it’s too late, because it lacks the ability to prioritize ‘normally’.
and those problems can’t be fixed by willpower alone. here’s an example of some tools we use to help:
meds can make it easier for our focus center to self-regulate by giving it the chemicals it needs to reward itself for prioritizing properly, the way non-ADHD brains do. and because we usually do understand prioritization, it can make it easier for us to focus on the stuff that’s important at the time we want to.
otoh, it’s also very helpful to practice good organization habits until they’re so habitual they bypass the focus center, happening on autopilot. it keeps us from self-sabotaging our efforts to be focused on the right thing by reducing distractions like clutter or not having the tools we need to do a thing. day planners can help with this, for instance.
it’s also helpful to have a person who doesn’t have focus problems to check on us and help us stay on task, or guide us in selecting which tasks are most important to get done.
tl;dr: it’s okay to need help with picking your focus or organizing big/long-term projects, even as an adult! ADHD impairs our ability to self-regulate our focus and prioritize things, so developing healthy coping habits is a good thing.
So, because people writing inaccurate kid!fic bothers me, a quick reference to kids (Disclaimer: I have no professional background in child development, and no offspring of my own – this is all based on other people’s kids.):
Newborn: Person-larva. Cannot do much but eat, sleep, cuddle, cry, poop. Cannot hold their own head up. May pick up on the mood of the person holding them, but response to it is going to consists of either contentment or complaining. Those are pretty much the two states of a newborn: happily cuddly or expressing displeasure.
2 – 6 months: Somewhat more aware of surroundings, own appendages, etc. Will recognize people, like some better than others. Smiles, laughs, babbles. Somewhere in here rolling over commences, and possibly crawling. Starts teething.
6 -12 months: Lots of babbling, but no actual talking. Crawls, pulls self up to standing while holding onto things, may start wobbly independent walking. Some kids are climbers (may heaven help their parents). Eating some solid food (as in, mashed up stuff), but still nursing / drinking formula too. This is the beginning of the exploratory, everything-goes-in-the-mouth stage. Still teething.
1 year old: Has teeth, eats solid food. Many parents wean at this age, but it’s not unusual to continue breastfeeding. Talks, but probably not very clearly – pronunciation will be interesting, and vocabulary very limited. May repeat a new word incessantly. Points at things they want. Physical coordination and verbal skills increase as child gets older. Maybe develop utterly random phobias, usually of things that are new or unpredictable. Interested in other children, may mimic older children. Still sticks everything in their mouth.
2 years old: Speaks well enough to be understood by those who know them, but not necessarily strangers. Uses simple phrases. May mash words together to express a concept for which they don’t yet know the word, or make a word up. Is learning labels for things, though they may not be accurate (i.e. all old men are grandpa, all round objects are a ball, etc.) Knows colors, parts of the body, types of animals, etc. Walks, runs, dances, etc – basically the full range of physical stuff, just all of it is kinda awkward. Can roll a ball or throw it in a clumsy way. May have a favorite toy, security blanket, etc. May play pretend games or make up stories, but they’re likely to be fair inscrutable to adults. Wants to do things independently, but is likely to be easily frustrated. Has tantrums. Plays with other children, but not terribly good at sharing or being nice. Asks questions; the ‘why?’ stage has begun. Toilet training begins around this age; girls tend to get the hang of it quicker than boys.
3 years old – pretty much the same as 2, only a bit better at all of it. Asks a LOT of questions. Has friends. Plays pretend. Understands rules (though is unlikely to obey them very well). Can count, though not very far. Speaks well enough to be understood by strangers; you know that so-cute-you-could-die kid-speak people love to write? This is the appropriate age for it (up through about age 5).
4 to 5 – cutesy kid-speak is age appropriate. May still have tantrums, still not the best at sharing, but should be starting to get socially functional. Can throw or kick a ball, jump, stand on one foot, all that. Can count, recite alphabet. Some kids start learning to read and write arond this age, though it wouldn’t yet be abnormal for them not to be able to. Lots of pretend play. Emotionally intense; everything is dire. Learning to be self-maintaining, i.e. may bathe independently but needs an adult to wash their hair.
6 – 10 – speaks like an emotionally immature adult; the things they have to say are still kid-like, but they should be easing out of kid-speak. Reads, writes, can do math – these skills increase with age. Understands and (usually) obeys rules, has a concept of fairness, kindness vs. cruelty, etc. Forms tight friendships, keeps secrets, wants to fit in and be liked; having a best friend or a group of friends is the most important thing in their world. Wants to be good at things; has definite interests and academic strengths and weaknesses. May bully or be bullied; kids this age can be mean. As in horrifyingly so. Has crushes (though probably still finds it acutely embarrassing). Understands death. Kids this age will curse, though hilariously badly. Still wants parental affection, but probably not in public.
11 – 12 – mini-teen, which is to say emotionally vulnerable, short-sighted mini-adult. Naive still, but not terribly so – has a basic understanding of human nature, events around them, etc. Begins to form political / ideological / religious opinions. May begin reciprocal romantic attachments. Strongly focused on collective identity, what ‘niche’ or ‘crowd’ they identify with. Some girls start puberty. This is also the age of things going badly wrong; kids know which other kids are the sociopaths at this stage. While everybody else is learning how to not be a mean little shit to everybody unlike themselves (or a bitter perpetual victim), those few who aren’t developing in a good direction become downright terrifying.
13 – 15 – somewhere in here, kids will start either facing major adult-scale decisions and problems themselves, or seeing peers doing so. Shit gets real. This is why teenagers think they know everything; the rose-colored glasses of childhood fall off, and they are suddenly So Very Jaded and cannot imagine there being more to the world than what they can suddenly perceive now, because it is overwhelming. Likely to be angry at the world, likely to gravitate toward ideological extremes. Takes risks. Forms romantic attachments; may experiment sexually, may not, maturity levels here very A LOT.
16 – 21 – moody adult with far more curiosity than common sense. Does thing in grand and dramatic fashion. Experiments with different identities. Wants total independence. Many develop greater social maturity around this time; stop seeing others in terms of cliques, develop greater empathy and ability to see things from multiple perspectives. Forms romantic attachments that may be serious or even life-long.
This is pretty accurate IME, and if you want more detail for the first few years, try Touchpoints.
When i was like 13 was allowed to use the internet unrestricted for the first time and i spent a lot of time on Runescape. One of the people i talked to on there was this person who had much higher levels than me in every skill and had, to my perception, a seemingly overflowing amount of game resources. One day i was taking about wishing i could get gold ore to level my smithing and not having access to any and they like “here, you can have this gold that i have” and just gave me this big stack and i was like “i don’t even have anything to offer back”. They told me they didn’t need anything and just wanted to be nice. I said that they didn’t have to and what they told me honestly has stuck with me since, they said “life’s too short to spend it being mean to people” and like it’s such a simple thing to say but combined with their actions and the weight they bore to me at the time was hugely influential on my outlook on life and the way i treat others. I don’t know who that person is but they changed my life that day and I’m so thankful to them.
high level MMO-ers are either the nicest people on earth or the spawn of Satan there is no in between
Runescape was a big part of my formative years for better or worse. Age twelve left me impressionable at best and the free lobster this guy gave me one day just stuck with me. We fished together for days on end and we talked about our parents and stuff. If you’re out there NinjaKirby69 I miss you buddy.
I forgot to type it up yesterday but one of my best experiences didn’t even involve me. It was when my younger sister, Runescape user cooldudetha, crashed the steel market single-handedly out of sheer boredom.
I need to know this story
So if you’re not aware, Runescape has the Grand Exchange, which is basically a global trade market controlled by supply and demand. It’s an incredible system, and deserves a lot of commendation.
Well one day back in…I think Summer between 2010-2012? my younger sister and I had nothing to do but play Runescape in our free time. I did what all aspiring heroes do, I was happy to go out and commit mass goblin murder. My sister was more creative. At first she went to train Smithing in Al Kharid, which is this desert area with easy access to iron, coal, a player bank, and a smelter. So basically she made craploads of steel for hours on end for like a week. But then she realized she had nothing to do with the steel. She could go find a smith with an anvil and train Smithing further, but that was boring since she’d already been grinding forever. So she went to the Grand Exchange and sold it all.
Thousands of units of steel ingots.
And it sold like immediately, since there was always a large amount of people training Smithing at the level they could use steel.
Obviously she became fabulously wealthy and didn’t know what to do with her newfound wealth. But since she spent a lot of time at the Exchange, she knew basically how the market worked. I’m not 100% sure on what the thought process was for her, but she essentially realized a basic economic principle: If she could control the supply and demand for steel she could accelerate her profit margins.
So like any reasonable 12-14 year old, she bought out about twice as much steel as she sold. Flooding the market had almost halved the price, and she now was both the supply and demand. Of course, as a result of some mystery person buying tons of steel, the price went up again. So she went and sold it at the higher price. She spent about another week or two playing Carnegie before it got old and she retired to Lumbridge with fat stacks of gold and the finest armor money could buy (but she couldn’t wear due to low Defense level).
I found out from a friend later who was part of one of the big trade guilds that the big market guilds were all pissed that somehow the steel market had crashed, skyrocketed, then crashed in quick succession for no goddamn reason and all of them had lost thousands of coins in the process.
My favorite thing about this is that it validates my entire Master’s Degree. This. This is how games can develop incidental learning and teach kids valuable lessons. This 12 year girl figured out, and manipulated, a free market economy because she was bored. She was able to recognize, understand and utilize a fundamental principal of economics to entertain herself.
I still play fuckin runescape and have no idea how to game the grand exchange
Okay I have a story just like OP I was maybe 10 or 11 and had been playing runescape for a year or so. I wasnt very high level I dont think and I was pretty poor but I had just found out you could pick flowers and I was so excited so I got some flowers and started going up to random people in Falador and giving them the flowers. I just wanted to brighten their day. I did this for maybe an hour when I initiated a trade with this really high level player who was wearing really expensive armor. I put the flowers into my trade offer and went to click accept. Normally at this point the other person would either take the flowers or just leave. But this person gave me gold. Not just a little bit of gold, which still would have been worth more than the flowers. No I’m talking a LOT of gold. More than I had ever seen. Before I could react they accepted the trade and began to walk away. I was so confused I ran after them and said something like “hey you accidentally gave me all this gold!!” I tried to open up a trade but they wouldn’t take it back. They simply said “it’s yours now” and logged off. After spending a good 20 minutes freaking out I went off and bought the best set of armour I could wear (mithryl I think), bought another identical set for my best friend, then bought as many level 1 sets of armour i could buy and went to lumbridge to give them to all the new players I could find.
I still think about that moment. I really think it helped shape me.
An incomplete list of descriptive paradigms for physical immortality – a resource for tabletop RPGs and other situations where you might find yourself playing or writing a character who can’t be hurt through conventional means.
Superman: The standard option – physical dangers just bounce off of you. If something does manage to injure you, you’ll display signs of pain or discomfort, and may exhibit light bruising, a thin trickle of blood, or some other cosmetic damage, but nothing short of complete destruction can violate your bodily integrity.
G-Rated: A series of unlikely coincidences arranges for injuries that you suffer to be much less severe than they should be. Fatal plummets become embarrassing pratfalls, and plunging into a fire merely leaves you artfully singed. Should you have enemies, they likely find you extremely frustrating to deal with.
Looney Tunes: You stretch and squash like a cartoon character, or else your body is simply amorphous. The effects of injuries tend to be exaggerated, but inflict no long-term impairment; for example, you might be cut in half, burnt to ash, or shattered like glass by trauma that wouldn’t ordinarily produce such extreme results, but quickly recover.
Zombie: You’re no more resistant to injury than an ordinary person, but being injured simply doesn’t particularly impair your ability to act. You’ll just keep going through anything short of complete bodily dismemberment, and even in that situation, your severed limbs may continue to act with far greater effectiveness than they really should.
Jekyll & Hyde: Trauma that should incapacitate or kill you instead causes you to transform into or be replaced by something else, typically an entity that can more effectively remove or escape the threat. The process later reverses itself, leaving you unharmed; you may or may not remember what your replacement did in your absence.
Skinsuit: Your human form is something you wear like a suit. Damaging it doesn’t meaningfully injure you, though it may impair your ability to act in a human fashion; in essence, injuries are recontextualised so that they change your ability to interact with the world rather than reducing it. Tentacles are traditional but not mandatory.
Puppet Strings: Your body is something that you have rather than something that you are. As you become progressively more damaged, it becomes progressively more apparent to onlookers that your body is being driven or dragged about by some outside force. You may or may not be able to replace it in the event of complete destruction.
Reset Button: You can be hurt or killed in the usual fashion, but no matter what happens to you, you just show up again later as though nothing happened. This may involve time manipulation, literal reincarnation, or some sort of metatextual contrivance. If killed, you may or may not remember dying.
Disposable: You’re actually one of a large number of essentially identical entities, typically a hive mind (if biological) or part of a product line (if mechanical). Destroyed instances are simply replaced. There may be a fixed number of you; if not, you may depend on some sort of external facility to produce more of you.
Outside Context: Your nature is sufficiently weird that it’s unclear what would qualify as an injury for you. The archetypal example is an intangible ghost, though there are many other possibilities. This usually involves a set of concomitant limitations on how you can interact with the world – it’s as alien to you as you are to it!
Does a healing factor, like what must be 40% of marvel’s heroes, count as looney tunes then?
Characters with a “healing factor” aren’t necessarily physically immortal, and when they are it tends to be a subset or variant of one of the previously described paradigms. Wolverine, for example, is a pretty standard Zombie type; suffering grotesque bodily insult and just powering through it thanks to his ineffable mangrit is sort of his whole deal.
i just cant get over the lobster scene. like his friends are actively begging him, do not get into the lobster tank. please eddie. tom hardy you were in mad max fury road dont do this. and tom hardy looks at his friend like “i know i shouldnt do this. i shouldnt be getting into this lobster tank but i’m going to anyway. i’m already mostly inside. cant stop now. i’m sorry i dont want to be doing this either there’s just no other choice for me.” and then he takes a bg bite out of a live lobster that’s still in the shell and everything.
tom hardy doesn’t actually know he’s being possessed by an alien yet in the story. he’s just resigned himself to whatever fucking meltdown he seems to be having. he doesn’t even seem particularly surprised that things have gone this way for him. like ten minutes later he finds out his heart stopped working and hes just like “you asshole” and he throws his alien parasite against the wall like a water balloon. and then he just leaves and is immediately kidnapped. what a fucking wild ride tom hardy is on.
tom hardy’s actual superpower is being the exact same level of dysfunctional no matter what is happening in his life. so when everything’s going ok for him he self-destructs spectacularly, but when literally everything that can happen to a human being happens to him, he does, like, unrealistically well. climbing into a lobster tank and eating a live animal with large claws just like… “well, this is what’s happening to me today. i’m so sorry you have to watch this, man. anyway here goes, i’m going to bite into a living creature with my human mouth and then LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS”
this movie’s fucking killing me from the inside.
IT WASNT EVEN IN THE SCRIPT TOM HARDY IS JUST A FUCKING GENUINE MADMAN
the reason Tres Horny Boys fluctuate wildly between “high-key incompetent” and “terrifyingly adept” is because their home reality runs on a different system and they know about as much about living in a DnD 5e world as the boys know about playing DnD
Plot Designing 