It’s really hard to think up Lesser Nobody types for all the members of Organization XIII that died before KH2. Like they really don’t align easily with FF job classes like all the others! I wanna actually try and design some more Nobody designs, so here’s my ideas so far:
Zexion – Illusionist. He’s the only one who’s easy!
Larxene – Honestly shoulda been Assassin, why is Axel this? So I guess maybe one of the other classes that are often related to that in various games. Thief, Ninja, or even Trickster..?
Marluxia – Odd idea- maybe Puppetmaster? Cos I mean there isnt any class specifically for fighting with flowers, but you could say its sorta like that since you’re technically controlling something thats alive. Plus it fits thematically with his plot role and how his monster transformation is this weird conjoined two people thing that people are all theorizing is actually the ghost of some lady who just got introduced in the mobile game. (I aint up to date on my spoils!)
Lexaeus – Geomancer could work cos its sorta earth magic, but he’s a very physical based character instead. And Beserker would have fit him in terms of what weapons the class generally uses, but Saix fits that better in terms of personality. Maybe just straight up default Warrior or Knight? Or even Dark Knight or Gladiator?
Vexen – This is where it gets extra tricky! Him and Lexaeus have the opposite problem, they’re both using abilities that are traditionally on the other side of the physical/magical split. Pretty much every defensive class is a sword user, and anyone that can use ice magic has defense as their lowest stat! I guess maybe he could be Astrologician just because its the only damn mage class that has any defensive anything. (Tho its support buffs rather than using an actual shield) Or maybe Paladin because that’s sorta the most magical defender? Even if its just ‘big buff guy that can also cast Cure’. It could work well tho, cos I mean its already ironic that a wimpy scholarly guy fights with a massive shield, itd be extra funny if grumpledad’s job class was the epitome of light!
Bonus: Xion – Mime/Mimic/Blue Mage. Because replica! Though the generic non-job-class Creeper nobodies already kinda have shapeshifting as their power. It could kinda fit her really well if her Nobodies were just an ascended form of the weakest one of all, like how she was supposed to be a soulless puppet but became something real.
Oh, and maybe Namine is Time Mage? Or maybe jobless/Freelancer because she’s “not technically a real nobody” and all. Confusing metaphysics, lol!
These are all really cool ideas! I hope you don’t mind me adding my two cents/headcanons on lesser nobodies –
Zexion: Scholar- I haven’t played any of the FF games with ‘illusionist’ so I went for th scholar, which tends to havea bilities that let the player break illusions. I figure they’d be small flyers who hide out in a corner of the room and snipe at people who show up. One is a pest. A dozen are deadly. They help Zexion with paperwork and spy.
Marluxia – Pharmacist. Goofy name, and always with a goofy costume, but phrmacists use flowers and other enemy drops to create effects – from temporary invulnerability to mind controlling enemies. The Pharmacy job is almost always super broken and Marluxia seems like th et ype to enjoy that kind of crafty nonsense. I imagine them with pink gas masks. AESTEHTIC.
Larxene – Ninja. What else to do with those knives?? They look like a human from the side but are completely flat, and swim in the air like eels. Electric eels?
Lexaeus – Geomancers. Half for the ‘earth’ mention, half for the contrast of LEx having a mage unit. Though I think the’d be Big and Four Legged, an HP sponge you’d have to deal with whoile dodging their environmental attacks.
Vexen – Paladin.A third for the big shields, a third for the healing potential, and a third forthecontrast of Vex having a fighter unit. (and the lexvex connection!!!) They have, like, turtle shells made of vexen’s shields and zip around on ice while healing. Low HP is made up for by a really difficult defense to deal with
I never considered Xion and Namine having lesser nobodies – your ideas are really cool! In FF5 and Bravely Default, Freelancer and Mime are set up as being like two halves of a similar class, though in different ways – what if you had Xion and Namine with those to show their connection via being related to kairi AND in being ‘not real nobodies’??
odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”
Oðinn spake:
Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count’nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.
Mickey and Minnie speak to deaf child using sign language.
I’m learning sign language so I understand this! They said “Nice to meet you” and then Minnie said “You know I love you” Ahhh I live for these kind of moments!
So, when labs go to take serology samples, they want to keep the rats as calm and still as possible so nobody gets bit!
Their solution to this?
pastry bags
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they even make mouse sized ones
This strongly reminds me of the tubes used to weigh songbirds from mistnetting.
Now these are some interesting restraint techniques…
As someone who has in the past been a part of a bird banding station- yes, these restraints work, they are safe and keep your study animals calm, and have the bonus of making your study animals look completely ridiculous.
an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.
‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years
‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ – they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones
‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice baked
thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice
behold the monoscuit/scuit
Why is this called a biscuit:
when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared
thus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UK
the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree
I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.
Plot Designing 