I extracted these from the game and I can’t stop laughing
1. when you’re wearing socks on a newly cleaned wooden floor
2. trying to get a snack at midnight without waking your parents up
3. realizing the dog peed on the piece of floor you’re about to step on
I’m forever haunted by the knowledge that Dracula is a public domain work and I could literally just write Dracula AU (No listen, but hear me out, The Batchelor), and every second I’m not doing it feels like an affront to whatever god thought it would be a good idea to keep me alive.
Here’s a List of Public Domain Classics for those of you who want to get your Classic Lit AU on, and potentially create THE LITERATURE CLASSICS CROSSOVER FIC FROM HELL.
Which I’d read the shit out of.
Why do you enable me like this.
Look, Drac is going to Mansfield Park with Long John Silver and THEY’RE GOING TO LIKE IT.
Nobody else there will, but they’ll have a blast.
Even better, check out the new pulp market where you can make actual money at this stuff.
dreaming about darkworld noelle – noelle’s design inspired by @doreenchartreuse!
Yall should follow my instagram Harlow_Diggs so you can see the kind of stuff I’m up to. Happy holidays its time for the best game known to mankind.
(click for HQ)
The thing that gets me about Darth Vader’s volcano castle is, like, when did he have the time to set all that up? Given the established timeline of events involving Darth Vader between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope, we basically know that he’s never had more than a few weeks of downtime at a stretch – certainly not the months or years of inactivity that would be required to establish and manage a permanent household of that scale. Is the castle his vacation home? Is a volcano castle the galactic despot equivalent of a cabin with a nice beachfront view? Does Darth Vader get paid vacations?
And, like, if it is a vacation home, can you imagine being the guy whose job it is to live there when Darth Vader is out oppressing the galaxy and look after the place? Just being a volcano castle off-season caretaker? How would you even apply for that job? What are its qualifications?
Why is Ian wearing the most massive uggs I’ve ever seen
when you level up in Gay, so do your uggs
You know what fantasy writing needs? Working class wizards.
- A crew of enchanters maintaining the perpetual flames that run the turbines that generate electricity, covered in ash and grime and stinking of hot chilies and rare mushrooms used for the enchantments
- A wizard specializing in construction, casting feather fall on every worker, and enchanting every hammer to drive nails in straight, animating the living clay that makes up the core of the crane
- An elderly wizard and her apprentice who transmute fragile broken objects. From furniture, to rotten wood beams, to delicate jewelry
- A battle magician, trained with only a few rudimentary spells to solve a shortage of trained wizards on the front who uses his healing spells to help folks around town
- Wizarding shops where cheery little mages enchant wooden blocks to be hammered into the sides of homes. Hammer this into the attic and it will scare off termites, toss this in the fire and clean your chimney, throw this in the air and all dust in the room gets sucked up
- Wizard loggers who transmute cut trees into solid, square beams, reducing waste, and casting spells to speed up regrowth. The forest, they know, will not be too harsh on them if the lost tree’s children may grow in its place
- Wizard farmers who grow their crops in arcane sigils to increase yield, or produce healthier fruit
- Factory wizards who control a dozen little constructs that keep machines cleaned and operational, who cast armor to protect the hands of workers, and who, when the factory strikes for better wages, freeze the machines in place to ensure their bosses can’t bring anyone new in.
Anyway, think about it.
- Construction wizards to turn back time to root out wood worm and strengthen old buildings.
- A wizard tailors who transmutes cloth into fully made clothes without seems and leaving behind no scraps
- A wizard who works in public transit, timing out teleports with detailed schedules, time magic, and enchanted communications, sending dozens of people to far away cities for a day or work or leisure
- A team of wizard gardeners tend to trees grown far outside their native range, and ideal climate, encircled with runes and fed potions to grow none the less
- A wizard sits in their office in the aqueduct, re-casting the spells that allow its precious water to flow to the city uphill
- A wizard fisher casts water repelling spells on the sailors and the stairs, keeps the hoist on the anchor from rusting, casts balls of heat that keep everyone warm below decks. Their real job is to herd fish together so they can be caught in single huge nets, and keep them cold as the boat returns to land.
There are so many possibilities outside of “stodgy academic who wears ugly robes” and “Very good holy man who helps everyone and the fact they’ve never had a job is never brought up” and “evil wizard toiling away on great evils in his evil tower in the evil country.”
- Wizards who come out and ward your home for you, like the magical equivalent of a home security system.
Plot Designing 