Anyone else terrified that they are toxic and manipulative and just can’t see it? Or is that just me?
A lot of people who’ve been abused think this. It’s very common for abusers to try to convince their victims that they, in some small part, deserve the abuse.
And a common way of doing that is to frame the defensive tactics of the victim as bad, manipulative things.
This includes people who are too worried of coming across as controlling or manipulative to express their needs. It took me a long time to be able to tell my boyfriend that his music was causing me physical pain because my abusers targeted my disability as justification for their behavior (saying I’m “too needy” and “need to accept that [they] have done so much for [me], the things [they] do are just part of life.”)
This includes people who are too scared to admit when they are hungry, thirsty, tired, stressed, or otherwise running on fumes, because their abusers may have made them believe that asking for (or just helping themselves to) food or sleep or space is somehow wrong or detestable.
This includes people who will still flinch, even when they’ve long “escaped” their abusers. Because it is reflexive. It is expected. It is ingrained as normal and when they do small things that may have become doable, like feeding themselves without being told to or having prepared food for others, and someone calls attention to their actions, their heart will race and they may stammer or find themselves a little panicked. Getting a snack in your shared home with your best friend in the world who helped you evacuate your abusive ex’s home can go over fine until said friend humorously, harmlessly comments “What, you didn’t get me any fruit snacks?”
The long lasting effects of abuse have funny ways of showing themselves.
Bisexual character written by a straight person: Oh! I don’t like labels. I don’t like to pick sides. I just like people. I like to shop at two different grocery stores. I like to eat at Burger King and McDonalds, if you know what I mean. Let’s just say I wear two different socks. I prefer ketchup AND mustard on my hamburgers. I’m just gonna say that I own two different pairs of underwear. I don’t want to be like one of those people, but how about I just say that I like to drink my coffee from two different mugs?
The problem was not that All Might was Yagi Toshinori.
The problem is that Yagi Toshinori is—was—had always been—All Might.
And always would be.
i wrote this last nov and it was originally intended to be five chapters bUT thats never gonna happen, so have a very large oneshot about toshinori and his ptsd post-afo arc. please do mind the warnings! specific triggers are at the bottom in the end note.
imo steven universe stopped deserving to be cut any slack or let off the hook for any of its shit once it decided to make an illegal immigrant joke on a children’s show that was most definitely seen by countless undocumented immigrant children and their families when it aired on television and like… showed the character who expressed that he hates illegal immigrants as someone the other characters needed to accept and understand. nah. fuck those gringos for putting shit like that in their Super Progressive Forward Thinking Children’s Show
like Rebecca Sugar is just a bubblegum version of Matt and Trey if we’re being real💁🏾♀️
I’m having a hard time finding the episode or any script as to what’s being referenced. Any sources for anyone who stopped watching a while ago? Please and thank you!
The episode is Gem Harvest.
It was essentially supposed to be a “thanksgiving” episode, and sort of show what it is like when you have that one racist and homophobic relative over to dinner who won’t shut up. While that is a reasonably funny idea, it kinda fell apart because the plot was about catering to Andy (Greg’s cousin), making him feel better about Lapis and Peridot living in the barn, and the Gems trying to do stuff HE liked so he’d be pacified. Regardless of what they did, he still complained and threw a fit about one thing or the other. Even though the episode ended with him deciding they could stay in his family’s barn, he never actually learned a real lesson to imply he saw the things he said/did were wrong. He admitted he was wrong about the Gems, but that doesn’t mean he thinks he’s wrong about everything else. Also, the problem with using the Gems as a metaphor for a different race/sexuality/gender that a bigot hates… there are ACTUAL human characters within the show who would definitely be offended by Andy, and it would have been good to see them react in a more realistic way. Imagine if Andy had been saying this stuff to the Pizza family, or Connie? It wouldn’t have been a “metaphor” for racism, it would have been literal blatant RACISM (even after Andy repeatedly insults the Gems then leaves, Steven still begs him to stay. Andy hasn’t really done a thing that shows he’s nice. I get that Steven wants more human family members, but Andy was portrayed as a pretty bad human). It wasn’t such a bad idea in general, but it was executed poorly (they didn’t even bring any of this back later on to show if Andy has really changed his ideals, or if he is just tolerating the Gems for Greg and Steven)
I think what really made it horrible was the context in which it aired. Just 10 days prior, Donald Trump was elected president. The episode’s clunky, terrible message- “sometimes you just have to get along with your racist family members”- subsequently became an endorsement of trump voters. Because the crewniverse didn’t think about the potential consequences of what they put in their show, and what they might be telling children about the political landscape, they ended up encouraging passivity around emboldened, violent racists who just achieved a massive victory in national politics, at the expense of marginalized children and families who were and are very understandably hurt and afraid.
this is a really good addition ^ like what fucking atrocious timing to come out with a sentiment like that
Plot Designing 